Tuesday, August 31, 2010


Have you ever seen a kid playing with a wooden sword. one that might have started out as a 2 by 4, or the likes. My Grandpa had one in the basement. I thought it was so cool. I'm not sure id he made it to be played with, or just because he though it was cool too. My friend Michael growing up, him and his brother had sci-fi looking machine guns that started out as a 2 by 8. no moving parts, but 100% cool. mark that on the list of things I should build some day.


When many were growing up, they had, saw, or had the pleasure of playing with Electric Race Car Tracks. My Grandpa Had one set-up in the basement. There were screws, and little pieces that held it in place, so that when it wasn't in use, it could be flipped up, and out of the way, like a murphy bed.
Photos are examples only.


When I was young, and was at my grandparents, sometimes my grandpa would read me bedtime stories.
Him, or my dad. When it was my Grandpa it would be "Fury, Stallion of the Broken Wheel Ranch" or one of the books in that series. or it would be Sam and Pat. I think it was called that anyways. They were dogs, that stood like people. one was tall, and one was short, one had a green shirt, and the other had red. I enjoyed those moments.

Sunday, August 29, 2010


I am scanning many of my grandpa's things. The things I found in the drawer of his desk. having had the opportunity to look through them now, I wish I had grabbed one or two things off of the wall as well.
on one sheet, posted on the wall, he had everyone's birthdays, my mom, dad, grandma... he even had Michelle and I's Anniversary. I like knowing that he cared.
Also upon the wall were the certificates for his telegraph training, and other items. I managed to grab a few things, and i hope my grandma doesn't clear out to much of it. If I could I would have taken her whole basement, because I can't bring him back, but I don't want to lose a single memory of him. I guess that's how being a hoarder can start. based upon my amassment of sketchbooks and art supplies, I may not be far off from that.
I don't expect to get back to Cranbrook for quite a while...
but we'll try.


My Grandma. She said herself that she has not cried yet. We all deal in different ways, and on different time lines. She has also had the opportunity to see the facts in front of her. Time will tell. I just hope that she can be well, and still be happy.
I do worry about her more now. But I am glad that she is still staying in their house. It's a place she knows, and feels comfortable. even with her eyes going, I expect she will be able to find everything there.
Just as people will be able to find her. We don't want here to be disjointed from access to the people who genuinely care for her. An assisted living home seems like such a depressing place to be. By doing everything for you, they remove some people's reason to get started in the morning. Trailing off to a slow disappearance into the shadows of minds. I would like my grandmother to have every reason to be alive. i love here.
Her having an emergency alert like thing on her, can give some comfort to us and her. Her having gotten it before my grandpa's passing, I think gave him a little comfort in the face of knowing the inevitable would some day come. I think she will be OK, and I hope so too.

I think, at some points, we all expected him to live forever.


I don't remember how I found out about my grandfather having a heart attack. The first one. The one that as about 2 weeks before. was it 2 weeks? I know I meant to phone, see how he was, wish him my best. The work week has a way of whisking ones mind into a flurry or haze. Time passing so quickly. It seemed like only a week and a half from the beginning of july, to the end of it. August has passed just the same.
I remember talking to my grandmother about it. seeing how he was. Grandma kinda clued me in, in her subtle ways, that his cancer had progressed, and he was likely not going to take the next treatment.
We were thinking of arranging a trip to see them over the labour day weekend, or the week after that. Not long down the line. But alas, not soon enough.
he had a second heart attack, two week later. maybe just not taking it easy enough after the first one. Maybe the cancer simply wore him down. maybe maybe maybe. speculation does not change the fact that all we are left with is memories. I hope by putting all I can here, that by someone reading this, that he can live just a little longer.


The last time I saw my grandfather, I began the process of realizing my grandfather would not be there forever. That he may not even be here for long.
The last time I visited my grandpa, we went to the hospital for his cancer treatment. It was a quiet place. I tried to talk with him. I enjoyed it. But there were moments where I felt the quiet permeating into our conversation. The quiet from between the beats of our hearts. The quiet of the truth of his illness.
I surely did not want to admit to any possibility that the treatment might not work.
I don't think I ever told him enough that I loved him. Do we ever tell the ones that we love often enough? I'm sure we could tell them every chance we get, and still feel like it wasn't enough. We can tell them when we remember to, and hope that they know in their hearts.


My Grandpa taught me to play
to play Checkers
to play Cribbage
to play Badminton
to play with electric track race cars
to Enjoy the time spent with the ones you love.
He could have taught me to play golf, If I had let him. But I don't really like golf, so that didn't work out so well. I thank you grandpa, for trying, and succeeding in so many ways.

That you are only as old as you let your self feel.
and you don't have to give up doing things you love just for age.

My Grandpa enjoyed ice cream once in a while. I think he sometimes saw our visits as little excuse to have some. Thinking of that makes me smile.


My grandfather was a member of the Fraternal Order of Eagles.
For over 35 years. And I don't even know what the eagles do?
I'm looking them up now, and I will add things to this as I learn them.
From my first look, I am proud to say my Grandfather was a member.
I am very ground to be the grandson of Vic Hayward.


My grandfather was:
Victor Oscar Hayward
Born Aug 1st, 1928, and died Aug 22, 2010. That made him 82.
He' s married to my grandmother, Eleanor Hayward (Armstrong). February 14th (Valentine's Day). They were married for 55 years, so that make them married in 1955, I think.